THIS BE PERVERSE
(or The Artist Always Gets Screwed!)
Ralph Hoyte 30 December 2009
I wanted to be an artist
In my dreams was I by the Muse woo’d
I wanted to accomplish great works of art
Before inevitable decrepitude
Then one cruel day the scales dropped from mine eyes
(bear with me if I sound somewhat crude!)
I realised that in this Vale of Tears, the artist always gets screwed!
I aspired to be an author – sadly, my work was misconstrued
Then I tried poetry – but my verse remained unreviewed
‘Twas a bitter pill to swallow, but I learn’d that it matters not
whether one’s work is acclaimed or eschewed
It remains a truth universally acknowledged: the artist always gets
screwed!
Next I took up painting – I am, after all, with native talent imbued
Following that I tried my hand at sculpture – well at least I had
attitude!
It made no odds that I could see – the truth I could not elude:
Everyone else has got it sussed: it’s the artist who always gets
screwed!
Great Michelangelo, Titian, Turner, all that multitude
Bacon, Yeats, Larkin, all those whose work was taboo’d
Rothko, Shakespeare, Keats, Auden, Coleridge, in fact all who
eternal fame pursued
Had each and every one this truth to learn: the artist always gets
screwed!
You may – I grant you this at least in theory - be discovered by
Saatchi & Saatchi (the ones with Nigella & brood)
Tho’ ‘tis more likely your work’ll be by all and sundry boo’d
The Muse is not there, my friend, to guarantee you fame, fortune,
or plenitude
For one thing remains eternally constant: the artist always gets
screwed!
Architects, surveyors, engineers, bureaucrats in the State’s
servitude
Evaluators, accountants, gallery owners, journalists, critics who
label one a pseud
All make a living from the artist’s work – in this they all collude
The person who does it out of love for 10p come push come shove
Is you and me, my friend, for remember: the artist always gets
screwed!
The artist is bounced between pillar and post - the two unforgiving
millstones of Joe Public’s ‘Why-Doncha-Get-The-Local-Kids-to-
Knock-You-Up-A-Mural?’ (aka ‘How-Dare-You-Spend-Money-On-
THAT-Instead-Of-On-A-Donkey-Sanctuary?’)- and the
Commissioners’ lassitude
You’ll need to dig deep, my friend, your guiding star not to occlude
Just do your work, for it’s all the same
If you’re completely ignored, or win fortune and fame
For whether you’re an author, poet, painter, sculptor, playwright,
actor, singer, songwriter … whatever – to all of you I allude
‘Tis a truth galaxially acknowledged:
THE ARTIST ALWAYS GETS SCREWED!
(Ralph Hoyte 30 December 2009)
(or The Artist Always Gets Screwed!)
Ralph Hoyte 30 December 2009
I wanted to be an artist
In my dreams was I by the Muse woo’d
I wanted to accomplish great works of art
Before inevitable decrepitude
Then one cruel day the scales dropped from mine eyes
(bear with me if I sound somewhat crude!)
I realised that in this Vale of Tears, the artist always gets screwed!
I aspired to be an author – sadly, my work was misconstrued
Then I tried poetry – but my verse remained unreviewed
‘Twas a bitter pill to swallow, but I learn’d that it matters not
whether one’s work is acclaimed or eschewed
It remains a truth universally acknowledged: the artist always gets
screwed!
Next I took up painting – I am, after all, with native talent imbued
Following that I tried my hand at sculpture – well at least I had
attitude!
It made no odds that I could see – the truth I could not elude:
Everyone else has got it sussed: it’s the artist who always gets
screwed!
Great Michelangelo, Titian, Turner, all that multitude
Bacon, Yeats, Larkin, all those whose work was taboo’d
Rothko, Shakespeare, Keats, Auden, Coleridge, in fact all who
eternal fame pursued
Had each and every one this truth to learn: the artist always gets
screwed!
You may – I grant you this at least in theory - be discovered by
Saatchi & Saatchi (the ones with Nigella & brood)
Tho’ ‘tis more likely your work’ll be by all and sundry boo’d
The Muse is not there, my friend, to guarantee you fame, fortune,
or plenitude
For one thing remains eternally constant: the artist always gets
screwed!
Architects, surveyors, engineers, bureaucrats in the State’s
servitude
Evaluators, accountants, gallery owners, journalists, critics who
label one a pseud
All make a living from the artist’s work – in this they all collude
The person who does it out of love for 10p come push come shove
Is you and me, my friend, for remember: the artist always gets
screwed!
The artist is bounced between pillar and post - the two unforgiving
millstones of Joe Public’s ‘Why-Doncha-Get-The-Local-Kids-to-
Knock-You-Up-A-Mural?’ (aka ‘How-Dare-You-Spend-Money-On-
THAT-Instead-Of-On-A-Donkey-Sanctuary?’)- and the
Commissioners’ lassitude
You’ll need to dig deep, my friend, your guiding star not to occlude
Just do your work, for it’s all the same
If you’re completely ignored, or win fortune and fame
For whether you’re an author, poet, painter, sculptor, playwright,
actor, singer, songwriter … whatever – to all of you I allude
‘Tis a truth galaxially acknowledged:
THE ARTIST ALWAYS GETS SCREWED!
(Ralph Hoyte 30 December 2009)
The Poet's dulcet tones